“You are kidding me. Am I reading this correctly? Did she just say I did that? I did NOT!”
“OMG. What a total A*&^#$!!”
The initial thoughts after receiving a shocking email. You may feel totally surprised, misunderstood, offended, embarrassed, perhaps even violated. Your heart rate shoots up, your blood begins to boil, anger takes over your body. Of course, your initial response is to click “REPLY” and UNLEASH. I’m here to tell you- Do not send a response immediately. I have learned the hard way the quick reply is coming from a place of pure emotion. Our feelings have the best of us in this moments and our words lack rational thoughts.
Here is what to do when you receive one of those emails and you know EXACTLY the ones I’m talking about!
- Step AWAY From the Email – Right away. Get up. Go outside if possible and take a walk for at least 10 minutes. Perhaps this is just around your office. You’ve been staring at this email, the wheels are turning, and we get stuck in our heads. Stepping away allows us to disconnect and see the bigger picture.
- Phone a Friend – WITHOUT divulging names call a friend or independent source for a second opinion. Mindfulness teaches us we each experience situations through a unique set of lenses. Often insight from another calms us down and opens up a new way of looking at the situation. I call my Dad or my best friend Brian for their perspective.
- 24 Hour Rule – We often feel the need to respond immediately to emails. We don’t! Sleep on it. Do not respond within 24 hours. Challenge yourself to WAIT until the next day. You will be SHOCKED at how differently your view is from the initial read.
- What is Really Going On? – My favorite question. Before you reply, take a step back and ask yourself what is really going on with this person. Perhaps they are having a bad day or just came down with an awful cold. Are they under pressure with a big project? If so, is the brutal response necessary or can you give them a pass?
- Ask the Question – If you don’t know “What is Really Going On?” – ASK. The practice of mindful selling is having compassion – recognizing you are the other person, the other person is you. CALL the person who emailed you. Let them know their email “Wasn’t like them.” Explain you are concerned and ask what is really going on. Prepare yourself for the response. They may be fighting with a sick loved one, a pissed off boss, or spilled coffee all over their pants- Anything! Have you been there too? Can you relate to sending a short email due to unfortunate conditions outside of the office? Perhaps your experience of this person changes completely and it actually brings you closer and more connected.
I hope this practice serves you. I hope it eliminates anger which is horrible for the body, sleepless nights, and undue stress. Next time you receive “one of those” emails you know exactly what to do!
Peace, Love, Sales,